…unless they trust you.

They will never trust you unless they know you.

They will never know you…

…unless you reveal yourself to them.”

This is one of my all-time favourite quotes from a wise old church pastor from New Zealand who has since passed on.

The quote comes from a book called Right Relationships: How to Create Them, How to Restore Them that I read many years ago and I have tried my best to live by this code.

Ultimately, it is all about making yourself vulnerable to another person in order for something worthwhile to be established or restored.

One of my favourite things that I love to do is facilitate a group of people where vulnerability flows. All it takes – most of the time -is for one person to make themselves incredibly vulnerable, and then the rest follow.

It instantly builds trust and bonds people together accordingly and appropriately – whether it is a work setting, friends, family or a group that carry a common interest.

Recently, I was with a group of courageous men who demonstrated precisely this quality and I was staggered at the honesty and vulnerability that all of them chose to display.


Becoming truly vulnerable is incredibly liberating.  Laying down the heavy load of covering up, taking off the armour or putting down the shield leaves you lighter and freer – able to move – even if it’s momentary, it’s a great feeling.  Why don’t you find a setting in which this is a safe thing for you to do? Why don’t you give it a go?… and watch as others join you.



Paul Hatcher

I am at heart, a communicator. I love to use words, whether written or spoken and maximise those words to hopefully, bring some encouragement - literally, to put courage into the hearts & minds of those who read or hear them. In my work as an executive coach, speaker, workshop facilitator, I love also to listen...deeply, and then respond with some encouragement.