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My wife and I have been away for a few days this week, celebrating our first wedding anniversary as well as her 40th Birthday.

Whilst enjoying the stunning views from a hotel bar (see below), my wife suddenly exclaimed and we both observed something rather unusual…

…to our left, the gentle waves were clearly lapping towards the right, but strangely to our right, the waves were gently lapping towards the left – moving in the completely opposite direction (see below)It took us some time to figure out why this was so. We moved in our seats so that we could try to look around the central pillar but couldn’t ever see the point at which the water moving in opposing directions met.  We talked about the possibility of it being a sort of mirage or optical illusion… we tried to work out the science and guessed it might be something to do with currents?

Do you have any idea what the answer to this scientific/visual anomaly was?

My wife’s second exclamation of the evening was the solution and we fell about laughing for a fair while, reflecting on what ‘donuts’ we were.

The image on the right was – in fact – a reflection! It was not a window at all, but a mirror!

In life, there are many occasions when things are not as they seem.

There was the once famous anti-racism police poster from the 1980s below – read the caption for details.

Then there is the story told by the late Stephen Covey of him sitting behind a man on a bus who appears to have no control over his young children. Finally, he asks the man to try and keep his children quiet. The man politely apologises but explains they have all just left his wife (their mother) in hospital, where she is dying of advanced cancer.

I am sure that we all have our own collection of stories where the situation turned out to not be quite as we first thought.

It may be a message you have received and for some reason, it comes across as rather hostile instead of the warm and friendly tone you are accustomed to. Or perhaps you see a situation unfolding and you make a decision based on your skewed perception.

Things are not always as they seem and, invariably, we may do well to reserve judgement until we know for sure in which direction the water is really moving.

This week, most children and teachers went back to school, and not a day too soon most parents will declare!

Most schools however, opened a day early for an INSET day.

If you’re anything like me, the first time I heard about this was when my daughter was due to start school. I was convinced people were saying, “Tomorrow is an insect day.”

“The School Must Need Fumigating!” I said to myself and believe it or not, a long time elapsed (I can’t remember precisely how long) before I realised that it is in fact, INSET (In-Service Education & Training) day.

Since then, I have had the privilege of going to my former secondary school to speak about the benefits of creating a coaching culture in school on an INSET day, and there were definitely no insects there – at least not in the main hall!

I found this short video entitled What Do Teachers Do on School Inset Days?

Sadly, no one confessed to what I used to think they do.

Perhaps I really was the only one?

I was in a team meeting the other day and a challenge to the banter that was being banded about came from a new member.

All it came down to was this: in a previous organisation he had worked in for some time, the staff members joked a great deal about “the guys in sales…” (or whatever department was different to theirs) and before long, he realised that the entire organisation or so it often appeared, was very divided in their thinking.

Silo mentality on steroids some might say. At least that is where you eventually end up.

Everyone in the team meeting took a few seconds to digest this challenge. and whilst there is always going to be someone else in another department, we thought carefully for a few minutes about how we could adjust our language.

So instead of something like, “The media guys really need to get their act together because their lack of speed is a real problem for us…”

How about, “What can we do to help the media guys so that we are all on the same page?”

Choose to unite as much as possible or divide and be conquered.

It’s not a difficult choice really.

There’s something special about travelling to a very different country and I have always loved it. Whether it is the sheer chaos of taxi drivers literally falling over themselves to grab your bag at the airport arrivals or the desperately poor condition of the roads, or the seemingly endless army of roadside vendors attempting to make a living by selling their wares to what must be an average of maybe one car in a hundred?

Uganda has all of these exciting, terrifying and desperately sad signs and so much more to make you feel like you truly have landed on another planet. It is hot and humid all year round, hovering around 30C.

Not only are the roads littered with potholes the size of bomb craters but there really are no ‘Highway Code’ rules that anyone abides by. On a single lane two way road for example, if a driver is running out of patience, they will simply create a third lane – dodging the oncoming traffic.

The ubiquitous motorbikes (affectionately called “borda bordas” due to the suggestion by the locals that they were universally used by people crossing borders into Uganda) that serve as an alternative taxi for many people are even worse. If they get bored (maybe this is the real reason they are called borda bordas!?) of sitting in the perpetual traffic jams, they will simply ride up the pavements – usually reserved for pedestrians but woe betide if you should try to protect this piece of concrete for yourself and your fellow walkers. They will simply ride right up behind you until you move aside through fear of them catching your heel.

On my first night in Kampala, my friends and I were walking down the said stretch of pavement and whilst on this occasion we were not accosted by a motorbike, we were confronted by the sight of a baby girl, simply left in the middle of the pavement. It was impossible to tell you this baby girl belonged to, whether a parent or guardian had simply popped into a shop and would be back soon or if the truth was a whole lot worse.

I am here in my capacity as a part-time fund-raiser for my favourite charity, Viva. Next time, I will explain a bit more about what they do and why I have come to Uganda.

For now at least, let me leave you with my favourite bumper sticker – of which there are an enormous variety – which said: “No condition is Permanent”.

Wherever you are this morning, be encouraged that just as the people of countries like Uganda, there is always a way forward.

Having had my own fair share of rejection, I have come to believe that one of the best methods of opposing the sometimes relentless feelings that follow hard on the heels of whatever bad news has landed on your lap is simply this:

Their rejection of me (or my work) is merely their own opinion.

And it can hardly work (excuse the pun) any other way in truth can it?

But it means you have to make a choice.

You can choose to be identified by their opinion and feel rejected, say you’ve been rejected, be rejected and ultimately remain rejected.

Or, you can recognise it for what it is…

Someone else’s opinion – of which they are entitled to.

But it doesn’t mean they are right or more importantly, that what they have said or decided is the truth, the final word on who you are, or how good your work is.

You may well have heard about the now infamous rejection letters that JK Rowling received when she first tried to gain some interest in her Harry Potter story. Pity the agents and publishers who turned her away I say.

Pity even more, in some ways, the poor people who rejected her more recently, when she submitted her first crime novel, The Cuckoo’s Calling under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith, Mercifully for them at least, the actor who reads out their letter of rejection to her does not mention their name at the end. Needless to say, the book was eventually taken on and sold over one million copies and is being adapted into a BBC drama series.

So, the next time you are “rejected” for a job, or dumped by a partner, or your latest piece of artistic genius doesn’t make it past the first hurdle, remember, it is merely their opinion.